AWAKENING FROM SELF SEPARATION
"Two realities of polarized selves come
to tormentingly collide. Only the thin film
of Shimmering saves me from that cataclysm."
This first level finds me with two clearly defined and distinct selves; the human creature self, identified with and controlled by my ego centered self, and my soul, my true personhood. When dealing with the outer world of others, I am often in self-hypnosis, believing my impressions to be "reality". When I'm aware of my soul's view, my faith and trust awaken. I disbelieve my ego's narrow, superficial mind and trust the secure nature of my true "I".
Yet, because of the great disparity between our realities, with this shifting back and forth, there is often conflict, if not torment between us. This unthinkable desperation creates the need and welcoming for the Shimmering from both "me's". The Shimmering's presence evokes a call to devotion and the deeper release It brings frees and opens me to fuller inner aliveness.
The Presence of this divine force calls for and catalyses accord, if not healing between us. The focus of our concern shifts to higher, more inclusive perception. The clay of the earth is recognized as a spiritual reality.
Both "me's" offer unquestioning acceptance and a desperate, humble handing over. My ego, my human creature's sense of self, is less burdened with pretending to guide my life. In my soul, I sense some recognition and giving up its priority rights to higher consciousness and putting down the human creature as too limited. A truly higher self is beginning to be known. Though its ways are beyond my present grasp, I know it is honored with service and attention. In their coming together, both my creature and soul selves find recognition and fulfillment in sharing the blessing and expression of the Shimmering.
AWAKENING TO MY HEART
"First the crowning Dome opens into infinite Realms,
Then pouring of Cosmic splendor down into my grounded Self.
Infinite Earth and Heavens meet and merge within my Heart."
That dynamic of both "me's" dedicated to the Shimmering's call created a new identity for me merging dualities. An Awakening. My new self knowing. This wholer Self can now serve as a vessel and a conduit through which the splendors of the Heavenly Realms and the Earthly can flow, meet, and merge. The Realms and selves I'd seen as total irreconcilables, now have a common concern and manifestation. My Self.
Yet it is a fierce blessing. Nothing remains of what I thought I was, only their faint shadows in the flames of my new being. This awakening is a return, a surrender to my life's true divinity. And this essential remembrance is the ocean my heart floats in. It arouses my deepest respect and awe with embracing devotion.
Now I am some "One". Not just a battleground for my "me's". I am the selfhood that embraces them all, opens them to wider, realer realms.
I am all that I seek. All that I seek, I am.
The form in the mirror merges with mine.
I become not-two, And Now is the Now I've awaited.
Now is Now crawls up my spine. Now is Now opens my heart
and my groin and my mind. Now is Now!
AWAKENING TO MY SOUL
"Are the 'doors' open or not?
And does it matter?"
The Unification of my two selves transmutes me to a higher level of being, of aliveness, of fulfillment and transformative capabilities. The limited "me's" that dominated my life for so long, now have reborn significance. Through them, freed of the shadow dance of their confusion, I touch intimate detail and meaning I well might otherwise miss. For, as a cosmic being, I no longer just experience the splendors, I am the Splendors. A very different perspective. This level of realization not only contains the 'doors' of perception and experience that the simpler levels of consciousness continually pass back and forth through. But now I also encompass them all, as if they form a column, as in my vision. I also enclose what is behind and all around them. So whether a 'door' is open or closed, it is all the same to me.
Here is my fullest knowing of myself as a cosmic being. Distractions and fleeting realities dissolve in this. No circumstance can befoul my truth. Faith and trust in deepest love and purpose alone remain. I know boundless freedom in this Truth. I am no longer my own slave. Trust alone moves me. The Shimmering alone is my guide and empowerment.
This is not flawless perfection. It is the fullness of being.
In me two rivers meet; Time and Eternity.
What had always been separate, sundered, disjointing me,
now joins in common flow. And I am all that I seek,
All that I seek, I am.
BIRTHING MY GOD SELF
"I and the Shimmering are one.
What had been bound in the web
of passing time and circumstance
now is freed, revealed,
merged with blissful Eternity."
Illuminated consciousness births my divine self. With my devout diligence, this self becomes a manifestation of Source Itself. I am filled with a certainty that is beyond all "do's and don't's'. Because Spirit alone fills my life, Freedom becomes my guide.
In awakening to this Truth that alone IS, I am in pre-eternity, time that not yet is. My heart rests in the essential love of "I AM", the Shimmering's Source and Goal. It is a well of love where infinite thirst finds boundless quenching. This is the heart of the Secret where darkness turns to revelation.
I find my Third Eye is merged with the Third Eye of Metatron, my guardian Angel of the Presence. Through this I perceive the Cosmos as a sea of variegated currents, meeting, merging, diverging to create an entrancing reflection of Source radiant beyond. And from my chest, my Mandala diffuses out to fill my reality. The Eye of God --my Mandala's center and source-- is fused into the core of my own Heart Chakra. As the Heart of my heart, it is a God-engendered womb for my god-self. With this, all that my heart had sheltered and soothed all my lifetime now is re- known The Lord gifted me with boundless longings and opened the way to many cherished fulfillments. My whole life, I now clearly see, is a sacred offering and consummation. Loving compassion and diamond discernment, the ultimate dissolvers of delusion and wounds, now let me recognize the truth of what IS.
Still with some sense of my creature and soul selves, though far, far off, I am absorbed in the Stillness that quivers every speck of my being. Luminescent rapture is the absorbing awareness. Beyond, I know that there must be something other than me. but I am aware of only this Knower.
There is only this One without other that is I AM.